Perfect Mom??
About a month or so ago, I finally watched 'Bad Moms', and I must say, that is one of the few movies that keeps it real about motherhood, and the struggles that only we as moms can relate to. It got me thinking of how, for some reason, society has the tendency to toss the phrase 'Perfect Mom' or 'Super-Mom' around when it sees a mom raising her kids and running her home with what appears to be, flawless precision, because clearly a woman attains superhero, can't-do-any-wrong, perfect human being status once she pushes a baby out of her hoo hah!
I'm pretty sure that at some point in time someone has said to you something like "...I don't know how you do it, you are so perfect at this mothering thing". or "...you're house and kids always look so put together. You are the epitome of super-momdom". And how did that make you feel? Like gouging their eyes out and stomping on them?..(Ok Woah! Maybe I need to dial back on the horror movies...). Yet all we do is smile, nod, and say thanks, because we know what the real story is, and it's no where near perfection.
How many times have we put the kids in front of the t.v. just so we can escape to the bathroom to catch our breath, and maybe cry a little because we don't think we can hold it together any more...(then you get a whiff of yourself and realize you haven't showered in two days...and cry a little more for the death of your personal hygiene). Or the times when you know the baby is up from his nap, but you leave him in his crib for a few more minutes so you can finally take three sips of your coffee while it's still hot..or maybe watch the last 3 minutes of season 4 episode 10 of Orange Is The New Black. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who has lost it at some point and raised her voice at the kids because you've repeated yourself soooo many times and yet the toys are still all over the floor, or your walls are now competing with Picasso masterpieces. As moms, our goal is not to seek perfection as we go about this journey. Nay! Our simple goal is to raise decent, responsible human beings who will someday make great contributions to society, while still maintaining our sanity.
Saying that, in some way, we are perfect (albeit in innocence) because we somehow seem to have it together, and our kids are clean and somewhat well mannered, does (unbeknownst to you) putt a little pressure on a mom. Maybe the pressure is self-imposed because as women and now moms, we try to please everyone, and in the process wear ourselves out trying to be that perfect, super-hero, cookie baking, PTA attending mom. No mom, by any stretch of the imagination, is perfect, and if she says she is...I want what she's drinking to make her so...and make it a double! So instead of saying 'perfect', just let us know that we are doing a good job and you understand how challenging it can be sometimes. Maybe offer to babysit...hahaha! That, to a mom, is like an all-expenses paid vacation to Bora Bora!
So save the labels for casseroles and souffles, for sunsets, and rainbows, we don't care about them because we're too busy folding two weeks worth of laundry, trying to figure out what those stains are, pulling kids off the window ledges because they think they're Spider-man, picking up toys from corners of the house we didn't think the kids knew existed. We're busy trying to keep track of all our kids when we go to the mall, and make sure we get home booboo free, and when we do get home, figure out what we can quickly throw together for dinner..(or better yet, swing by our favorite fast food spot...who said veggies have to always be broccoli and spinach? Lettuce and tomatoes count too right?) so everyone can be in bed by 8:00pm!
Perfection to me is getting my kids in bed on time because I have a date with the DVR, and some herbal tea ( I really mean wine..)....after all, it's been a few days since we chatted. I wonder what's been going on on Chicago Fire? Side-note:That Severide is so fine! Mmh! Mmh! But I digress....
So my fellow mommies out there, stress not over living up to the title of 'perfect super-mom', it'll just give you unnecessary gas! Your kids think you're perfect just the way you are...burnt cookies and all...and isn't that what really matters?
