It's not always as we plan it...
From the moment you find out you are 'with child', you start to notice other parents in the mall, at the grocery store, in the parking lot, or at church. Just observing how they interact with their kids, and smiling inside knowing that in a few months that will be you. Yet, because we are human, secretly parent shaming, and taking mental notes of the things you swear you will never do to your kids, or how you will not be caught dead leaving the house in sweatpants and a scrunchie...(let me know how that works out) Oh! and heaven forbid you feed your child anything other than organic everything.
As a soon-to be new parent, you read practically everything there is to read about pregnancy, giving birth, what to eat, what not to eat, how to sleep, blah! blah! blah! We all have a copy of 'What to Expect When You Are Expecting' somewhere in the basement collecting dust. Mmh! Hmm! It was (at least in my hay days) the end all and be all of pregnancy info, and made pregnancy seem like a brisk walk in the park, occasionally marred by flatulence, and 3am cravings. For most people, it probably was...and is. However, what one comes to learn as they go through pregnancy and eventually delivery then parenthood, is that things don't always work out the way we plan them. Those breathing lessons...right out the window when baby decides she's coming out via c-section.
What parenting has taught me is how to be patient, and accept the things I cannot change...like stretchmarks..(looking like a friggin' road map from Toronto to Florida!) and the fact that babies come into this world when and how they want to....(even in the backseat of a car), and with gifts and talents that we don't always plan for. Before they make their debut into this world, we tend to map out their little lives, like how they'll play a particular sport like mom or dad, or how your daughter just has to be in ballet, or cheerleading (..to probably fulfill our own childhood dream). You insist that they will listen to classical music from day 1 because you read in some article in a parenting magazine while in your doctor's office, that it helps stimulate the brain, and promote cultural appreciation.
What we fail to realize is that these wee bundles of joy come with their own little agendas. The little 'jock', just wants to play piano and read Harry Potter. Ms Baby Ballerina, wouldn't be caught dead in a tutu (my kinda girl...boom!), and fluffy pink stuff is just not her thing. Give her some soccer cleats and and a baseball cap and lil girlfriend is good to go. So as parents, we just have to roll with the punches and let go of some of the things we had planned, and support and guide them to be the geniuses they are meant to be.
No one ever said parenting was gonna be a breeze, nor do babies come with manuals to help us navigate this journey. Will they drive you crazy and wear you the out day in and day out? Yes! Will you barely have time to shower or brush your teeth? Affirmative. Wear milk stained sweats and a scrunchie to the grocery store and really not care what other people think?...and finally relate to the moms you saw at the market in sweats when you were expecting and judgy? Oh! Yes! Will privacy as you go potty and shower be a thing of the past? Mmh! Hmm! Yup! Are words like 'potty' and 'peepee' going to become part of your adult vocabulary? Clearly. And occasionally, are you gonna envy your single friends as they spend Friday nights out at the hottest clubs, while you wipe off vomit from the floor because your toddler caught some bug at daycare? Oh! hell yes!! But would we trade it for the world? Naaahh! Never!
When those lil tykes cuddle up to you and say "I ya you Momma" (..yes..that's how my lil Sunshine says 'I love you Momma'), or come running to you, arms wide open saying 'Hug! Hug!'. And that moment when your older child tells you that they appreciate all the things you do for him..sigh! Makes you just wonna reconsider the whole contraception thing and do it all over aga...wwwaaait!! Hold on...yikes!...almost got sucked in by the moment...phew!!...Close call!! (wipes brow). Ok...What I was trying to say is, parenting has its peaks, and valleys....its moments of absolute joy, and moments when you wonder if these little rascals were sent here as payback for what you put your parents through as a child....(as grandma smiles n' mouths a silent 'Thank You' n gives a thumbs up to God)...but at the end of the day....whether or not all our pre-baby plans are fulfilled, our babies bring us more joy than we ever knew was possible, and fill that space in your heart that you didn't even know was empty.